The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out and saved him.
He said, "Thank God," and he was dropped.
(Contributed by David Mather)
The Zen Master replies, "I get them to the point where they can't ask anymore questions".
(Contributed by Barry Erdman)
(Contributed by Nebuchadnezzar)
The teacher said very simply, "You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella."
(Contributed by Susan)
When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, "I forgot to put my the other underwear to dry." He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way. The third monk watched the first two carefully in what he decided must be the test of his own abilities. "Is your learning so superior to mine? I too can match any feat you two can perform," he declared loudly and rushed to the water's edge to walk across it. He promptly fell into the deep water.
Undeterred, the yogi climbed out of the water and tried again, only to sink into the water. Yet again he climbed out and yet again he tried, each time sinking into the water. This went on for some time as the other two monks watched.
After a while, the second monk turned to the first and said, "Do you think we should tell him where the stones are?"
(Contributed by Byrd Chong)
After thinking for sometime, Ian said, "Dad, I have a story that I just made up."
"There were these two Buddhist monks who had about 13 beers each. One had to walk home quite some distance.
'Will you be all right to walk home?', the one asked
'Of course, I will take the Middle Path,' he replied."
(Contributed by Thomas Roberts)
The first wise, blind elephant felt the human, and declared, "Humans are flat."
The other wise, blind elephants, after similarly feeling the human, agreed.
The younger monk came out of his meditation and said: "Flag is flapping"
A more experienced monk said: "Wind is flapping"
A third monk who had been there for more than 20 years said: "Mind is flapping."
The fourth monk who was the eldest said, visibly annoyed: "Mouths are flapping!"
The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back "My son, you are on the other side" .
(Contributed by Joe McClintock)
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